you're NOT Better off dead
Darkness can be overwhelming but know that it will come to an end, there will be a brighter day, try not to loose hope. You are here for a reason and you need to know that this would is a better place because your unique soul is here. You're here for a reason. talk to someone, share how you are feeling, its good to let people in.
It's not easy to change how you think when you have had years of being bombarded with lies 24/7 these challenges will help change your mindset which we too are taking up, we're on this journey with you.
let this sink in...